Thursday, March 25, 2010

Countdown to....Right Now!



Since when has life become a never ending series of countdowns? I find myself counting down to every big, exciting event even before the previous event is over. I counted down to spring break and the day i got back started a countdown on my Dashboard until I go back home for the summer (49 days, if you were wondering). Sure, countdowns are great, they give you something to look forward to, but what are the repercussions?

I've realized that if I continue to countdown to each new event, I don't live in the moment. It's impossible to cherish the day you're in if you are looking forward to tomorrow, or the next day, or next year. Days go by far to quickly when you're looking forward to something else. They may feel slow, but what do you do with those days? Do you make them meaningful? Or do you spend your free time thinking of how great tomorrow will be?

Right now, I have 3 different countdowns on my planner, written in the corner in sparkly gel pen. But why should I wait for something great to happen when I can make today great and something worth looking forward to? We shouldn't dwell of what will happen, we should focus on what is happening and what we can make happen.

-Julie

Monday, March 22, 2010

Eat your green beans.


There was an article on tinybuddha recently that struck a chord with me. I always read their articles, but this one in particular happened to be about something I think about all the time.

The big question in the article is "If there are others suffering in the world, what right do I have to think about myself or my lofty goals?" I often feel guilty for the things that I have and the things that I want. If there was ever a poster child for lofty goals, it would be me. I want to have a high-paying and highly rewarding job. I want to write, I want people to know me. I want to have the perfectly balanced family with a beautiful house and a big garden by a lake. I want to never have to worry about money, and be able to live comfortably well into old age.

But really, how can I want all of these things, when there are people dying at such young ages in disease ravaged third world countries, with nothing more than a piece of tin and a few stick to call a home?

I suppose we're taught to feel that guilt from day one when we won't eat our vegetables..."there are starving children in Africa that would love those green beans" my mom would always tell me. But what this article is telling us is that you shouldn't downplay your dreams or your accomplishments because of it. We are all related, our lives are all one life, "an interwoven tapestry." There cannot be great wealth without great poverty, great success without great failure.

With great success comes the ability to help those in need; to start foundations or adopt children or donate to any charity you can think of. You do not need to give up worldly possessions or squander the gifts you are given in order to feel better when comparing your life to the lives of others.

Strive for Self-Actualization. Be all you can be and all that jazz. I sure plan to.

-Julie

Thursday, March 11, 2010

"All that is gold does not glitter...


...not all those who wander are lost." -J.R.R. Tolkien

I've finally figured out what kind of girl I am..It's taken nineteen years, but I've finally come to terms with the person that I am, and what I've found is that I am full of contradictions. I am a human contradiction, quite frankly.

First of all, I figured out my Myers Briggs type yesterday and came out with an ESFJ - Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging. This essentially means that I am usually open to and motivated by the outside world, I like clear and concrete information, I have a serious memory with a lot of detail, I am unsettled by conflict and have a toxic reaction to disharmony, and I plan most details in advance before acting.
This is who I am...But when I took a closer look, I figured out that I am both introverted and extroverted, I wish there were an introverted extrovert category, because if that was an option that would be who I am. It's funny because I like being around people and feel as though when I am alone for a long period of time, I am almost wasting my time....but by the similar token, when I'm around people for too long, all I want to do is retreat to my room and be alone so I can hear myself think.

I've also realized that I like to wander without being lost, and I like to plan to be spontaneous. (Human contradiction, remember?) I like to go new places and do new things, but not without knowing exactly where I'm going and exactly what I'm doing. This is something I am trying to change about myself, because so many of the things I want to do in life require spontaneity and a little bit of getting lost. So far, I haven't really had the opportunity to completely immerse myself in spontaneous wandering, but I hope that when I travel, I will be able to let go of my planning nature and just wander. Get lost for a bit. See what its like.

What kind of person are you?

-Julie


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Don't burst my bubble

i can't remember where this is from, but i know it's not mine ♥

I haven't written in a while. It's not that I haven't had things to write about, just none of things I wanted to write about were positive... and I don't like writing negative things. Because when you read negative things, it kind of brings you down. And I definitely don't want to bring anybody down....Even if only 3 people read this.

the past two weeks have been one of those times where I worry about everything. Every negative over the past two weeks has opened up a whole new can of worry in my head and as hard as I tried I couldn't get it to go away.
I can kind of liken the feeling to the sensation you get as you're waiting for a balloon to pop. Like someone is squeezing it and squeezing it and you just sit and cringe and brace for the loud imminent POP.

Today is the day it all went away. and it's a feeling of relief that feels SO GOOD. I guess whoever was squeezing my proverbial balloon just decided to let go... Nothing can get me down today, even if I have a huge bruise on my arm from a failed attempt at giving blood. And my car won't start again. And I have a project due friday. I repeat nothing can get me down.

-Julie